Fool Me Once...

I realize I haven't posted here for quite some time, but I intend to rectify that as best as possible. The reason I'm up late at night, writing to clear my head, is because I was reminded yet again that there's one aspect of myself I can't escape:

I can't handle being fooled.

This tends to crop up very, very rarely as I keep myself extremely closely guarded to such things due to two simple things. First, I stay humble about things I don't know. This means I don't claim to know something I don't and i don't insist I'm correct in a situation if i'm proven wrong. Second, I don't believe a single word that anyone tells me. Not really anyway. That's all a bit tricky to explain, but I'd best start at the origin for this whole mess. Let's go back to when I was a kid.

I was never a smooth child. I was about as gullible as one could be, believing anything anyone ever told me because, hey, why not? Things were pretty simple with cousins and friends pulling quick jokes here and there, making me believe they could teleport or that they saw a Ninja Turtle in the sewers for real. Most of this was and still is harmless. Children are naive by nature and dang it if it isn't fun to screw with them once in a while.

But it wasn't just simple jokes here and there. I had friends betray some deep trusts for me as a kid that I couldn't quite deal with. One 6th grade friend told me, a 2nd grader, that she was pregnant. I was scared and told my parents because I honestly cared about her, only to discover that she was just "testing me" and that she learned she couldn't trust me. Our friendship was very hard to deal with after that.

As I got older, it became common for my friends to make up some story to get out of playing with me because I was a wet blanket and didn't like taking risks or doing anything remotely "bad" (this is social poison if you're a boy). Tricking a kid so you can ditch him doesn't sound like the most despicable thing kids can do to one another, but it still hurts deep. It took me a painfully long time to come to my senses about how easily my friends were fooling me, which is even more pitiful as being alone so often you'd think I'd have ample time to think.

And that's actually what really did happen. Right around middle school my neighborhood diminished from a thriving manufactured home community with over 150 houses to something like 30 people within the span of a year or two. This left me without close friends and plenty of space to learn to over-analyze myself to oblivion.

By high school I couldn't be fooled, not in the traditional sense anyway. Nothing could surprise me as I'd over-analyzed every situation so much that there was literally nothing that could occur that I hadn't expected and anticipated. I have never been truly surprised to learn that someone was gay, for instance, because I've suspected and prepared for every person I've ever met to someday "reveal" their true self (some are easier to pick out than others).

This is...not the most enjoyable way to live one's life. It's not necessarily paranoia to the extent that I'm not going around actively looking for signs that people are betraying me, but I'm always anticipating that they could betray me any second. Absolutely anyone. My closest friends. My family. Myself. I know these people, and I know they're every bit as capable as those stupid kids when I was little. As a result I make it a point to try and always read people as quickly as possible to determine what, if anything, can be used as ammunition against them later should they choose to betray me. This is bad, the stuff of crazy people, but things got worse as I got older.

Some time near the end of my high school carer I made the mistake of trying to cram as many love triangles into my life as possible. One such all-time fantastic plot revolved around a girl I'd liked for three years, a close friend of mine fresh off a 13-month relationship, and depression-laden old me. To keep things short, my friend went after the girl, they initially didn't work out, I tried to convince her it was for the best, she was still heartbroken, so I got them back together. I dare any other high school senior to do the same thing, but I know you don't have the stones to inflict that amount of suffering upon yourself. The ironic twist? They acted initially as if I didn't realize what was happening. Suddenly I wasn't just be tricked; I was also still being treated like that naive little kid who believed Ninja Turtles lived under my street and 7-year-olds were capable of teleporting onto balconies when my eyes were kept closed for minutes at a time.

I've experienced this deja vu many times, each one with me stating to people that I know what's going on, that I'm not stupid and that I'm also an adult, only to have them assure me that I'm wrong. It typically takes about a week before they just break down and present the truth like it's some sort of elaborate Prestige in an illusion. "Ha ha, silly Chris! You had no clue what was going on this whole time! We're just too clever for you it seems!"

I bring all of this up again because, as I said in the beginning of this, I can't handle being really and truly fooled. A few months ago I woke up only to discover that my email had been hacked and I'd sent out a few simple spam messages to people on my contact list. I was mortified beyond all reason despite no harm really being done.

A few nights ago I got an email offering me a modeling job in Portland for $1,850 for 3 one-and-a-half-hour shoots. I am not now, nor have I ever been, a model. I've never even come close to the appearance of a model, despite my attempts to make it to the gym three nights a week. All of this seemed too good to be true, and I responded as such. They convinced me it wasn't. It was just that simple. Perhaps it was just God answering a prayer for help, for strength, for reassurance of my worth. But it still didn't add up. Tonight, after getting one last confirmation email, that voice in my head whispered gently into my ear, "No one wants your fat ass on their catalog... They're fooling you..." A simple Google search yielded results that pointed to modeling scams with wording dangerously similar to the email I received. "I told you... Who would want your stupid, naive face on ads selling things to good looking people...?"

No, I am not out any money, nor have I given away any information they couldn't already know (save for learning my waist size is 47" and my shoe size is 11). But I came too close to being a fool. I let my guard down and almost got in deep. And despite being able to finally have a night where I'm in bed before 12:30, I'm sitting here, still typing, all because I can't handle being fooled. You may say I'm overreacting, over thinking things. But have you ever learned that the actions you took for three years of your life were all a result of one simple white lie?

Perhaps that's a story for a different restless night.

No Right Answer and Drinking Games for Thursday, October the 6th

Here we are, Thursday again. Hey, no need to be as sad and morose and I'm sure you'd prefer to be. Let's make today a happy day, shall we?

We can start by diving into the DS (not literally unless you're that far gone) for some quick and simple Drinking Games. Perhaps I just wanted an excuse to played Elite Beat Agents and Scribblenauts again? Perhaps indeed! Check that video out here.

And no Thursday is complete without a hearty debate between Kyle and myself, so let's do a really tough one and debate George Lucas vs George Lucas. Oh snaps! That can be found here.

Ocarina of Time 3D Review at Toy-TMA

It took me some time to think about my experience with Ocarina of time 3D, but that time of thinking is done and the time for action has come! Writing-related action to be specific. Those curious for my full review of Ocarina of Time's 3DS remake, bop on over to Toy-TMA and read the review here.

No Right Answer and Drinking Games for Thursday, September the 29th

Hey hey, look it's Thursday! Nothing gonna stop us from bringing new episodes of No Right Answer and Drinking Games, so let's just give the quick rundowns and send you to watch them, eh?

For No Right Answer, we just can't help but try and troll the Internet every now and again, so why not pick one of those famous debates and just dive into it? We've got The Smurfs vs the Na'vi for the most advanced blue person society, and I'm fighting on the side of The Smurfs. Go watch that here and comment.

On the other side of the tracks is Drinking Games, freshly picked and ready for a taste. We've done quite enough with video games, so let's take a small break and try out board games, starting with Guess Who?, that timeless game that eight-year-olds are terrible at. Go see what the fuss is about here.

Marvel Civil War Aftermath over at Toy-TMA

It's Wednesday and that means it's my day of the week over at Toy-TMA. For this particular blustery day, I decided to continue forward with my Comic Book Club retrospective on Marvel's current continuity, picking up right after the Marvel Civil War had ended. This pretty much covers the forming of not one, not two, but three separate Avengers teams and leads us through Captain America's death. Those curious, you can check up the article here.

No Right Answer and Drinking Games for Thursday, September 22nd

Hey everyone, we're here again on a Thursday and the anticipation is high to see who won last week's debate between Goku and Firelord Ozai. We had a HUGE turnout of responses, and while it was close...well you'll just have to watch and see who came out on top...as the worst...strange yes but oh well.

Also in the episode, a new debate! Actually, that's the majority of the episode, so don't feel like you've been cheated or anything! It's Superman: Red Son against Kingdom Come in a battle to decide which gets turned into a movie first. First being the key here as both need to become movies some day. Go watch the episode here.

And of course it just wouldn't be a Thursday with Drinking Games forcing us to think ahead to Fridays. It's not like we all live in college towns where Thirsty Thursdays are in effect! Regardless, it's time for old school Mario Party on the N64, so head here and enjoy!

Tomopop Writings for the Past Two Weeks

I have been rather busy lately, which isn't much different than normal, but in this instance I lost a weekend of computer time due to a required camping trip to Prineville. That's all taken care of and I'm back to the horrifying world that is my life, so I might as well get caught up linking through the the various Tomopop articles I wrote these past two weeks. All of those after the jump!

Nintendo 2011 Holiday Preview

I'm a stupidly huge Nintendo fanboy, there's just no escaping that fact. I swoon at the thought of new Mario and Zelda games, such as Skyward Sword and Super Mario 3D Land, and I'm actually happy with my 3DS purchase (even if I'm a foolish early adopter). After heading to PAX last month I had the opportunity to play through a handful of titles that'll be appearing very soon, so I went and wrote up a little holiday season preview for everyone over at Toy-TMA. Head over and read it here.

Armchair Thinkers Episode 25 Is Live!

So it takes a while for Armchair Thinkers episodes to get made and then even longer for them to finally go live. None of this is my fault I might add. Kyle and I only get a chance to match open times in our schedules maybe but once a month, time that is typically spent ripping through a podcast episode if we can. However, once I send the edited episode off to our guy to post, it may take a week, two weeks, or even over a month at times before everything works and it goes up.

Thankfully we're not pitifully outdated with today's topic, which is George Lucas and why he's bothering us again. Plus, we debrief from PAX 2011 at last. Go give it a listen and enjoy! You can find the new episode here.

No Right Answer and Drinking Games for Thursday, September 15th

It's got to be one of the best days ever for me as both No Right Answer and Drinking Games today let me talk about topics I absolutely love.

On No Right Answer, the debate posed is "Who Is The Worst Father?" The choices: Goku from Dragonball and Firelord Ozai from Avatar. I finally got to talk about Dragonball Z! Awesome! But we couldn't decide who won, and Dan refused to judge, so we're leaving it up to the fans. You can check out the video and leave a comment here.

On Drinking Games, I'm allowed to go off on Super Smash Bros Brawl, one of my favorite games ever because I'm a silly Nintendo fanboy. Plus, Kyle gives us his Canadian accent on today's Annals of Gaming History when we look at some simple rules for Blades of Steel from the NES. Did you ever play it? You should! You should also go check out the episode here.

BloodRayne: Betrayal Review

My very first review token! I was ecstatic when I got added to a bunch of media lists due to blowback from PAX, so when a company said "Okay, everyone who wants review codes please make sure we know," I was all over that. Free game? Score!

Turns out the game in question was BloodRayne: Betrayal. I've never played a BloodRayne title before, which may have been slightly in my favor as Betrayal is nothing like any previous game in the series, but then again I don't think it would have really mattered now that I played it. It's...not my favorite game on XLBA (that'd be Super Meat Boy), but I suppose there's an audience out there.

Here's the full review via Toy-TMA. Go check it out and see if your opinion of the game matched with mine:

BloodRayne: Betrayal Review

No Right Answer and Drinking Games for Thursday September 8th

Here we are on a lovely Thursday evening, so that must mean new shows went up on The Escapist!

For No Right Answer, Kyle and I decide to get angsty and debate which movie is full of more instances of angst between the entire Twilight saga and Spider-man 3. Who's going to win this one? You'll have to watch to find out.

In the realm of Drinking Games, Dan, Kyle and myself look into Resident Evil 5 and start to see all teh racism compacting upon itself. Our solution? Create a drinking game out of it! And in the annal of gaming history, it's Super Mario Land, another surprisingly racist game. Don't believe that we'd deal with issues like race in video games? Watch and be amazed!

Tomocast Episode 30: Toy Story!

Last week was a busy week for a lot of reasons, so of course I added a handful of Tomopop articles to my plate, as well as an episode of the Tomocast. Pedro, who is truly the man by the way, put up episode 30 of the Tomocast, which finally has our group of myself, Rio McCarthy, Kristina Pino, and Pedro the Man doing commentary on Toy Story, a movie that needs no introduction. You can listen in here.

And in case you were wondering what I've been writing over at Tomopop that's so very important here's the rundown:

The Marvel Select line of action figures showed off their Colossus figure, a character I absolutely love. You've got all the right pieces here like a bunch of articulation, the right costume, and even an accessory that's a chunk of the Danger Room. I'm all for this, even if we may have covered it before. Regardless, the write up is here.

I have a soft spot for anything related to Futurama, so when Deviant Artist artanis-one went ahead and created a handful of Planet Express' crew in realistic statue forms, I was overly happy. Write up for that is here.

It can be really hard for me to sort through tips since there's usually a flood of things that reference Munnies, Dunnies, Qee, and other such base model toys that people then use to make awesome customs. Very rarely does one come around that I want to talk about, but Gabriel Carpio, also a Deviant Artist, succeeded in getting my attention with a whole collection of customs with a kabuki aesthetic. The full write up is here.

Lastly, Kirby is one of those characters I can't help but love. I dare any of you to say you actually hate the little puffball, even if you don't usually find yourself playing bright and colorful games where tomatoes heal your healthbar and lollipops make you invincible (or invencible in some cases). How can I say no to plush Kirby keychains then? I can't. The write up for that is here.

PAX Prime 2011: Archibald & Remus Demo

The very last demo I had a chance to sit down and play while at PAX was an interesting little tower defense title by SRRN Games called Archibald & Remus: Minor Lords. I'm not usually a fan of tower defense games (with the one major exception being the Pokemon Tower Defense game), but the aspect that caught my attention from Archibald & Remus happened to be a more minor portion of the game: It's a buddy comedy. More on that after the jump.

PAX Prime 2011: TopWare Demo

Saturday morning promised to start off well as TopWare Interactive had invited myself, my wife, Kyle, and Kyle's fiancee to a hotel room in order to take a look at a handful of titles they were sharing this year. I had no clue what to expect from a personal hotel room demo session (what with being new to this whole thing), but when I arrived it seemed like it was just going to be us and the PR rep hanging out and learning about some cool new games. Over the hour we learned about an expansion to Two Worlds II, a pirate game that's at least a year off called Raven's Cry, and a really fascinating tile called Scivelation. So hit the jump and let's take a look at what we saw.

PAX Prime 2011: SQUIDS Demo

One of my favorite demos of PAX wasn't one of the most-known titles. Sure, I played around in the Nintendo booth quite a lot, and I already mentioned Firefall, but perhaps one of the most charming and enjoyable titles I had the chance to play comes from The Game Bakers, a small group of developers fresh off of Ubisoft. What game could they have made that has me extremely happy that my wife has an iPhone? For that answer, let's take a look at SQUIDS after the jump!

PAX Prime 2011: Firefall Demo

Okay, so since I was at PAX Prime 2011, I had a chance to sit down with a number of demos that seemed rather scattershot. This is because I am one guy just now starting to generate connections, so things have to start slow. Still, I was elated with my first press demo ever for the huge title from developers Red 5 Studios named Firefall, an MMO that plays like an FPS or a 3PS depending on your preference. And best yet, it's entirely free to play. For the full demo impressions, hit the jump!

Hot Toys 1989 Batman over on Tomopop

Yesterday was surprisingly fun since I had the chance to teach Kyle how to do pretty much anything on Tomopop in terms of posting articles. A step-by-step explanation in the same room is always easier to deal with than trying to function over Google chat or something. The result was that he took the tip for Hot Toys' 1989 Joker and I took Batman, both from the classic Burton film Batman before Burton lost his mind and just decided to be silly at all times. If you want to see just how awesome this toy is, head over to Tomopop and check it out here.

Destructoid Preview: Fortune Street on the Nintendo Wii

I had the chance to sit down (well, stay standing but you get the idea) with Fortune Street for the Nintendo Wii during PAX Prime 2011 last week, and while I'd never heard of it or the series, which apparently has like nine other games in Japan, I was strangely drawn in. Call me a fanboy, but Nintendo knows how to make me give a crap about things I really shouldn't. Mario? Dragon Quest? And Monopoly? Dang, now I'm buying this.

The full preview can be found at Destructoid here.

No Right Answer and Drinking Games for Thursday, September 1st

Look at that, it's Thursday again, so that must mean we've got new shows on The Escapist for you!

In Drinking Games, it's Portal 2 all the way with Kyle and Dan taking the job of playing while I get to finally just sit back and watch. Also, Tetris makes an appearance in the Annals of Gaming History along with my wonderful Russian accent. Yay for fun accents! The link is here.

No Right Answer seeks to resolve the age-old question: Who is most likely to succeed as an adult between Tommy Pickles and Doug Funny? I could argue either one, so I forget who I actually argued for. Check that one out here.